Choosing an Executor: what they do and how to pick the right one

Last verified: March 2026 (England & Wales)

Choosing an executor is not a box-ticking exercise.

It is one of the most important decisions in your Will.

Your executor is the person, or people, responsible for dealing with your estate after death. That can include finding your Will, applying for probate, collecting in assets, paying debts and tax, and making sure the right people receive the right inheritance.Some executors cope well. Others feel overwhelmed. The right choice is not always the person you feel you “ought” to appoint. It is the person most likely to do the job properly when the time comes.

Fair on paper is not always fair in practice. The best executor is the one most likely to get the job done calmly and properly.

Quick-read summary

• An executor is responsible for administering your estate after death.
• The role can include probate, paperwork, tax, asset collection, communication and record-keeping.
• The best executor is usually someone trustworthy, organised, steady and realistic about the job.
• Family is often the right starting point, but not always.
• In some cases, a professional executor or professional support can reduce stress and conflict.
• You do not need to appoint the same person just because they are the eldest child or seem the “obvious” choice.
• A well-drafted Will can build in flexibility, so your chosen executor can bring in help if needed.

What an executor actually does

In simple terms, your executor is the person who carries out your Will.

That usually includes:

• locating the latest Will
• registering the death where needed and dealing with practical first steps
• valuing the estate
• applying for probate if required
• collecting in assets
• settling debts and liabilities
• dealing with inheritance-tax paperwork where applicable
• distributing the estate to the beneficiaries
• keeping proper records throughout

That is why the role matters.

Even in a straightforward estate, it can involve a fair amount of administration. In a more complicated estate, the role can become time-consuming and emotionally difficult.

What makes a good executor

The best executor is not always the closest relative or the person most likely to feel honoured.

A good executor is usually someone who is:

Trustworthy

This sounds obvious, but it matters most. They will be handling money, paperwork, and family expectations.

Organised

Executors need to work through forms, statements, deadlines and practical steps. Someone who avoids paperwork may struggle.

Calm under pressure

Executors often act during a period of grief, family tension or uncertainty. A steady temperament matters.

Able to communicate

They may need to deal with banks, insurers, HMRC, probate professionals and family members. Good communication can prevent disputes.

Realistic about their time

A good executor does not need to be an expert, but they do need to have enough time and energy to take the role seriously.

Sensible with money and admin

They do not need to be an accountant, but they should be comfortable dealing with figures, statements and basic financial records.

You are not choosing the person you love most. You are choosing the person most likely to cope well with responsibility.

Family, friend or professional?

There is no universal right answer.

Family or friends

This is often the best place to start. In many families, a trusted relative or friend can do the job perfectly well.

That can work especially well where:

• the family gets on
• the estate is fairly straightforward
• the chosen executor is practical and willing
• there is no obvious risk of conflict

A professional executor

In some cases, a professional executor can be helpful.

That may be because:

• the family dynamics are difficult
• the estate is complex
• there is likely to be conflict
• nobody suitable is available
• or the client wants professional continuity

That said, a professional appointment should be chosen carefully. Costs and control matter.

A blended approach

Often the best answer is a middle course.

A trusted family member can be appointed as executor, with the option to bring in professional help if needed. In some cases, a professional may be named as a reserve or co-executor rather than the automatic first choice.

That keeps flexibility in the family’s hands.

Should your Will writer or solicitor be your executor?

Sometimes providers encourage clients to appoint them as executor.

It may sound convenient. They know the Will. They know the process. They can “take care of everything”.

But this can create a real conflict of interest.

At Fern Wills & LPAs, we do not appoint ourselves as your primary executor. We think families should usually stay in control, with professional help brought in only if and when it is genuinely needed.That is a fairer model.Call-out: Professional help can be useful. Being locked into it from the start is a different matter.

Co-executors and alternates

You do not have to appoint just one executor.

Two can work well, especially where they have different strengths. For example, one may be practical and local, while another knows the family finances well.But too many executors can slow things down. Every extra person adds another layer of coordination.In most cases, one or two executors is enough.It is also wise to name at least one replacement executor. Circumstances change. Someone may die first, lose capacity, move abroad, or simply not want the job when the time comes.A good Will should allow for that.

What if my children live abroad or are too busy?

This is a common concern.

Many parents want to appoint their children, but worry that distance, work or family commitments will make the role harder.

That does not automatically mean they are the wrong choice.

It may simply mean the Will should be drafted with flexibility, so the child can take the lead while bringing in professional help if needed. In other cases, a local family member or reserve professional can be added as a back-up.The aim is not perfection. It is to make the role workable.

Executors and digital assets

Executors increasingly deal with more than paper files and bank accounts.

Many estates now include:

• email accounts
• cloud storage
• online banking access points
• subscriptions
• digital photographs
• social media accounts
• online business tools
• cryptocurrency or digital investments
• domain names and online income streams

That does not mean your executor needs to be a tech expert. But it does mean they need enough clarity and support to identify what exists and what needs dealing with.

A separate record of your assets, accounts and key practical information can make the role much easier.

When the “obvious” choice is the wrong one

People often choose executors for emotional reasons.

The eldest child. The child who would be offended if not chosen. The sibling who seems “only fair”. The friend who asked first.

Those reasons may be understandable, but they are not always good reasons.

The better question is this:

Who is most likely to deal with this properly, calmly and without making things worse?That is the person to start with.

What good planning looks like

Good executor planning usually means:

• choosing the right person, not the most obvious one
• keeping the number of executors sensible
• naming at least one replacement
• building in flexibility for professional support if needed
• being realistic about the complexity of the estate
• and making sure the executor knows where the Will and key records are kept

It also helps to have the conversation in advance.

A short honest conversation now is much better than an unpleasant surprise later.

An executor does not need to know everything today. They need to be the sort of person who can deal with the job when it arrives.

What Fern Wills & LPAs does

Fern Wills & LPAs helps clients choose executors in a way that fits the real family, not just the neat version on paper.

That can include:

• sense-checking whether the proposed executor is a good fit
• helping you decide between one executor, two, or a reserve
• building in flexibility for professional help
• reducing the risk of family friction
• and making sure the Will structure actually supports the plan

We can also help you think about the wider practical picture, including record-keeping, storage, and how your executor would find what they need.

What to review now

If you are making or reviewing your Will, these are the questions worth asking:

• Is the person I have chosen actually suited to the role?
• Am I choosing them because they are the best fit, or because it feels politically easier?
• Would two executors help, or just slow things down?
• Have I named a replacement?
• Are there likely to be tensions between the people I am appointing?
• Does my executor live too far away or have too much on already?
• Would it help to build in the option of professional support later?
• Does my executor know where the Will is stored?

If those questions reveal any doubt, it is better to address it now than leave the family to deal with it later.

Cases

The “fair” choice that was not practical

Margaret named both daughters as joint executors because she wanted to be fair. In reality, one daughter was organised and local, while the other avoided paperwork and often delayed decisions. On review, Margaret appointed the practical daughter as main executor and kept the other involved in a different way. The plan became clearer and more workable.

The son living abroad

Philip wanted to appoint his eldest son, who lived overseas. That was still the right choice for family reasons, but the Will was structured so professional support could be brought in if the practical side became too heavy. That kept control in the family without pretending geography did not matter.

The blended family with tension beneath the surface

A remarried client initially wanted to appoint one child from each side of the family as joint executors “to keep the peace”. In practice, the relationship was already strained. A neutral professional reserve and clearer structure reduced the risk of conflict later.

The trusted friend who was not good with admin

A client wanted to appoint his oldest friend because he was loyal and kind. On discussion, it became obvious that the friend hated paperwork and would probably feel overwhelmed. The client instead chose a more practical relative, while keeping the friend involved informally.

The widow who wanted to avoid burdening her children

Susan’s children were loving and responsible, but both had demanding jobs and young families. Rather than assuming they would “cope somehow”, she appointed one child as main executor, named a reserve, and built in flexibility for outside help if needed. That gave reassurance without locking the estate into permanent professional control.

What does an executor do?

An executor administers the estate after death. That may include probate, paperwork, paying debts, collecting assets and distributing inheritance according to the Will.

Does an executor have to act?

No. Someone can refuse the role or step back before taking it on formally.

Can I appoint more than one executor?

Yes. Two can work well. Too many can create delay and friction.

Should I appoint my eldest child?

Only if they are the right fit. Birth order is not the legal test. Practical suitability matters more.

Can an executor be a beneficiary?

Yes. That is very common. A spouse, child or other beneficiary can also be an executor.

Should I appoint a professional executor?

Sometimes, yes. But it depends on the complexity of the estate, the family dynamics and whether the benefits outweigh the cost and loss of control.

What if my executor lives abroad?

They may still be suitable, but the practicalities should be thought through carefully. In some cases, flexibility or a reserve appointment helps.

What if I am not sure who to choose?

That is exactly the point at which it helps to talk it through. A good decision here can save your family a lot of stress later.

This article is general information only, not individual advice.

If you want help choosing the right executor, Fern Wills & LPAs can help you sense-check the options and build the Will around what will work in real life.

Next steps

If you are unsure who to appoint, do not guess and do not just follow the “obvious” option.

Fern Wills & LPAs can help you work out:

• who is best suited to the role
• whether one or two executors is sensible
• whether a reserve should be added
• and whether professional support should be built in as a back-up, not a default

A short review now can prevent a lot of delay, conflict and unnecessary cost later.