Why Family Meetings Matter in Estate Planning

Author: Chris Watts — Estate Planning Specialist, Fern Wills & LPAs

Last verified: 28 October 2025 (England & Wales)

Quick-Read Summary

Family meetings help prevent future disputes by turning difficult subjects into calm, structured conversations. They let everyone understand your Will, LPAs, and estate planning choices in plain English — before misunderstandings can grow into conflict.

Court claims to challenge Wills and inheritance arrangements have risen in England and Wales. Many are triggered not by bad intentions but by poor communication. A well-run family meeting replaces uncertainty with understanding and gives relatives confidence that your decisions are informed and fair.The best meetings are open, honest, and guided by a professional who can explain both the “what” and the “why.” They protect families as much as they protect assets.

Practical Checklist

• Decide who should attend: spouse or partner, adult children, executors, trustees, or attorneys.
• Share your aims in advance — clarity, reassurance, and practical next steps.
• Prepare outline copies or summaries of your Will and LPAs.
• Use a neutral facilitator to guide the discussion and keep it factual.
• Record key points and follow-up actions once the meeting ends.

What to Consider

• The hidden cause of disputes: When families don’t talk, they fill the silence with assumptions. That’s why so many challenges start after someone passes away and relatives finally see the Will for the first time.
• Complaints and claims are rising: Wills and probate remain among the most complained-about areas of law, and the number of inheritance disputes reaching court continues to climb year on year. Clear communication early on is still the best form of prevention.
• Understanding builds trust: When people hear decisions explained directly, they are more likely to accept them, even if they might have chosen differently themselves.
• Confidence in capacity: Family discussions can also reassure relatives that the Will-maker was mentally capable and well supported, removing one of the main grounds for legal challenge later on.

Open conversations today prevent difficult conversations tomorrow.

How This Works in Real Life

One couple came to discuss their own Wills and LPAs. After two calm meetings, they said, “This has been good — we finally understand what everything means.” Once they had that confidence, they invited their wider family — parents, uncles, and aunts — to join a group discussion. Around the table, we explained the principles of estate planning, what a Will actually does, and how each person could decide what felt right for them.

Later, I met the older relatives privately in their homes. Because they’d already met me in the family setting, they felt relaxed and safe talking about their own wishes. Some chose simple mirror Wills; others preferred to add protective trusts. Each made an informed choice in their own time.

Another family wanted to explore every option, several trusts, tax scenarios, and “what if” questions. Their two meetings totalled more than three hours. They worried their elderly parents wouldn’t manage that level of detail, so I assured them the process always adapts to the audience. Everyone gets a full understanding, but at their own pace. For some couples, it takes 40 minutes; for others, three or four hours. The result is always the same: clarity, comfort, and confident decisions.

Benefits of a Family Discussion with a Professional Guide

• Professional insight on the spot. Complex questions answered clearly and accurately.
• Transparency. Everyone hears the same explanation and reasoning.
• Lower dispute risk. Openness now avoids challenges later.
• Defined roles. Executors, attorneys, and trustees know what’s expected before they’re called upon.
• Confidence and calm. Families leave knowing plans are in place and understood.

Consequences of Skipping the Conversation

• Higher risk of conflict. Unspoken assumptions become resentment.
• Legal cost and delay. Challenges consume time, money, and energy.
• Emotional strain. Families struggle with both grief and confusion.
• Missed insight. A question asked too late can’t change the plan.

FAQs

Should I share my full Will?

You can share only what helps explain your reasoning and key decisions.

What if we disagree during the meeting?

A neutral facilitator keeps the discussion fair and factual so everyone is heard without argument.

Do we need to cover LPAs as well as Wills?

Yes. LPAs and Wills work best when designed together.

Can these meetings be done online?

Yes. Video meetings are ideal when family members live apart.

How often should we hold them?

Whenever major life changes occur — marriage, divorce, new property, or new grandchildren — or roughly every three years, as a general review.

Optional Technical Notes

• Common grounds for challenges: lack of capacity, undue influence, improper signing, and claims under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975.
• Why it matters: Disputes over Wills and inheritance continue to rise in England and Wales, highlighting the need for early discussion and documentation.
• Professional standards: The Legal Ombudsman’s annual data confirms that Wills and probate remain a top area of complaint — often linked to miscommunication or lack of clarity.

Sources of Information

Ministry of Justice — Probate and civil court statistics (England & Wales)

The Gazette — Probate dispute reports and public notices

The Law Society — Good practice guidance for solicitors in Wills and probate

Legal Ombudsman — Annual complaint data and thematic reports

STEP (Society of Trust and Estate Practitioners) — Research on family communication and dispute prevention

Next Steps

If you want your family to understand your wishes clearly and avoid future conflict, arrange a guided family meeting. We’ll keep it comfortable, structured, and focused on what matters most — understanding, not persuasion.